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The Courage to be Vulnerable

Written by Sarah, Jasper’s Mum, for Still Aware.   My blogs, fundraisers, donations & sharing of my personal experience of loss & life after loss all lead to one thing…vulnerability. I share so that I can help to break such a taboo subject in society as well as to encourage others to speak up & let themselves be vulnerable…to be vulnerable is to show strength & courage. So, some of you may wonder why I decided to talk about this as a topic…well when I realised how vulnerable sharing my experiences was making me I decided to see if I could find any books out there that might assist in shedding some light for me on and around being vulnerable. This all lead to picking up this amazing book called “Daring Greatly” written by Brene Brown – (I think a few people out there could learn a lot from reading … Continued

A Moment with You

Written by Sarah, Jasper’s Mum, for Still Aware.   “As long as I live, you will live. As long as I live, you will be remembered. As long as I live, you will be loved” Author Unknown Whilst writing this blog it is just under a month until it would have been Jasper’s second birthday (by the time the blog gets published his anniversary/birthday would have been and gone for another year). There are many things that I think about and reflect on in the lead up to important and meaningful dates such as Mother’s Day, Jasper’s birthday/angelversary, Christmas and many other times of the year – sometimes it is just random days when the wave of grief once again consumes me. Lately, I have been reflecting and thinking a lot about what it would be like if I was able to have another moment with my son. I am … Continued

A Journey with No Destination

Written by Jasper’s mum, Sarah, for Still Aware. “Child loss is not an event; it is an indescribable journey of Survival” – Author Unknown. I am sure that everyone is aware of the quote out there (it is a very common one) and seems to be plastered around everywhere I look – “It’s not about the destination, it’s about the journey” – I think this quote must have been written by someone who never experienced great loss. It really is amazing how you can go through a personal experience and it can change your complete outlook on life, or in this case, my outlook on a simple quote and what that quote means to me. I used to think it was a nice little quote before I experienced the loss of our son, then I changed – I couldn’t stand to see it or to read it, the words meant … Continued

Another Year Without You

Written by Sarah, mum of Jasper, for Still Aware. As soon as July starts, so does the pain and grief of knowing that it has nearly been another full year without Jasper. Yet again the 28thof August is quickly approaching, and this will be his second angelversary, he should have been turning two, we should have had two years of moments and memories and two years as a family – instead, I’m left wondering what could have been. As his second angelversary approaches I find that I spend most of my time reflecting on so many things – on the pregnancy, on the loss, on the common reoccurring questions which remain unanswered (Why me? Why did this happen to us? Who would you have been? What would you have liked? What would you have learnt? What would you look like?) and I also wonder just how different the last two … Continued

A Light for the Journey

Written by Sarah, mum of Jasper, for Still Aware. Over the last couple of months, I have had conversations with many people who advised me that they read my blogs (I didn’t know so many did)! It has been interesting and enlightening to find out the reasons as to why these different people read my blogs – a real eye-opener, so to speak! There were a variety of reasons and I would like to share these conversations and reasons with you, to show you how something as simple as writing a blog can be someone else’s light for their journey and how the impact that your words can have on someone else’s life. One lady told me that she started to read my blogs to gain a better understanding as to the journey of baby loss. Personally, she had never experienced it herself and she had no one close to … Continued

Still Standing

Written by Caroline Campbell, mum of Xanthe, for Still Aware I was 38 years old and 9 months pregnant with my third child on that day when my world came crashing down. Thursday, March 30th, 2017. I hated Thursdays for a long time afterward, and I still hate the month of March. My daughter, Xanthe, died 1 week before her scheduled caesarean due date. She had been perfectly healthy throughout the whole pregnancy, there were no warning signs that anything was wrong. She died with no known medical explanation. I was so happy as I set off for my last appointment at RPA to go and sign the consent forms for the caesarean and to have one last check-up. The last few months of being heavily pregnant and running around after my two energetic sons had felt like a marathon…and finally, the finish line was in sight, one more week … Continued

H.O.P.E – Hold On Pain Ends

Written by Sarah Pridham, mum of Jasper, for Still Aware. Does it? Does pain ever really end? Both questions where I believe that the answer is no, especially if the pain is caused by grief and grief never truly ends. I did a google search to the question (even though within my heart I knew the answer to it) – Does grief ever end? The answer I was confronted with was “Grief, however, never truly ends, especially if that hurt was deep. A person may feel that he or she is through with grieving, and then a song, a scene from a movie or a ‘déjà vu’ event will trigger a bittersweet sadness. But with each recurrence of that grief, the pain will lessen”. I don’t believe that pain ends, and I certainly do not believe in the saying ‘time heals all wounds’, but I do believe that the pain … Continued

Mother’s Day

Written by Sarah Pridham, mum of Jasper, for Still Aware.   “Mother’s Day is a day of appreciation and respect. I can think of no Mothers who deserve it more, than those who had to give a child back” – Emma Bombeck   As soon as the end of April creeps up, so starts the tormenting roller-coaster of emotions and grief knowing that Mother’s Day is just around the corner. For a bereaved mother we live everyday with many confusing contrasts, and Mother’s Day just magnifies these even more, it is like a constant current that tugs and tosses about our hearts and minds.   Mother’s Day is supposed to be a day to honour the mother of the family, as well as motherhood, maternal bonds and the influence of mothers in society…but what is Mother’s Day for a mother who lost her child? Well, I’m not sure I even … Continued

Support After Loss

Written by Sarah Pridham, mum of Jasper, for Still Aware.   Support following any type of loss is one of the most important parts of the painful journey. Now that my Life Lessons blogs are complete, I decided that my next blog would be a list of different resources that relate to support following loss. It isn’t just the initial support that the bereaved need, it is the support weeks, months and years later that is the most important with a journey of loss and grief. A couple of days after the loss of our son, while I was still in hospital, I was handed a bag full of brochures and information in relation to grief, support groups and many other things including information about funeral planning and the start of the journey following on from the loss. Whilst I found some of the information helpful and useful, there was … Continued

What Does My Life Mean Now?

Written by Sarah Pridham, mum of Jasper, for Still Aware. This is a personal blog by Sarah Pridham and Still Aware acknowledge this may be sensitive to some readers. This blog does not reflect the views of Still Aware, however, we are sensitive to understand this blog does depict the turmoil some bereaved parents endure and there are many faces of grief. Still Aware want you to know you are not alone.    “A meaningful life is not being rich, being popular, being highly educated, or being perfect. It’s about being real, being humble, being able to share ourselves and touch the lives of others” – Author Unknown. Well this is a blog that I could probably write a book about. The meaning of life, or the meaning of my life – what is it? I continually ask myself that question and continually come up with no clear answer. I … Continued

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